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Writer's pictureCHARMYRA E. FLEMING

Confidence in the Power of "No"...



Greetings, Good Morning,

Today, I want to talk a little bit about having Confidence in the Power of "No". I had a personal business decision to make recently, and it made me think about this concept intently. Having confidence and saying, "no, no thank you, or not at this time", can be in stark conflict with one another at times. We've all been in the position, where deep down we want to say, "no", but don't want to seem mean. For instance, someone that ordinarily have no problem carrying themselves confidently may find themselves intimidated with saying, "no or no thank you", and vice versa. Especially, when the need to say, "no", is in conflict with something of dire importance, such as, a business opportunity.

Confidence doesn't come easily for some, and I on one hand have never had a problem with, my confidence. With that said, at various times in my life and career, I've found myself intimidated by saying, "no" to people. At times, I didn't want to say, "no", because, I didn't want to be viewed differently in others eyes, viewed negatively, or seem mean. I am a person that believes in integrity, and living up to your word and I felt that, if I said, "no", somehow it goes against that belief. As I've grown and matured, I'm finding that, that's not true. I've learned, being able to say, "no", speaks to my confidence, and rightly so. Saying, "no", has power. It gives the person delivering the message of "no", power. Recently, I was put in a situation where I needed to respectfully decline a business opportunity, and say, "no". As I mulled, over my decision before speaking with the individuals involved, I felt the "creep" of intimidation. I knew that I was losing my power, and if I didn't go through with it, I would be powerless in this situation. Although, I liked the people, their personalities had nothing to do with my decision. I had to separate my feelings from my ability to make a sound business decision, that would affect my future. I recognized the intimidation and dismissed it. I put the threat of intimidation out of my mind, embraced my confidence, took back my power and "put on my big girl pants". When hung up from the call, I felt empowered. I felt powerful! I stayed true to what was important to me at this time in my career. In the end, I didn't allow someone else's needs to dictate my ability to tell them, "no", when it didn't align with my needs, and that's ok.

So, my Motivation for you this Monday, is to have "Confidence in the Power of 'No'". You do not have to settle, or have to agree with something that doesn't pass your "gut check test". You are well within your right as a person to say, "no". So take back your power! Embrace your confidence and carry it proudly. Let it empower you to be upfront with the people in your life, whether business or personal. People will respect you for knowing your limits, and willingness to tell them, "no", when necessary.

"It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not."

~Attributed to Hanoch McCarty

"Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong."

~Peter T. McIntyre


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